Stress & the menopause

Question-: my last period was October 2008, I took soya isoflavines for a year and was fine. Over the last year I have been sweatier,eating less due to fullness and loosing weight, after a shocking time recently, I find I seem to suddenly have hot /cold sweats, numb feet, head disengaged, no concentration, I don’t recognize myself. I cannot work, I feel queasy and shaky, especially when I garden, muscle ache, ribs tender etc., am exhausted. Can the menopause be triggered by a stressful time.

Reply-: Yes the menopause like periods will affect you general health & well being, due to hormonal balance.
Ensure your diet is good, plenty of exercise & be positive


  1. yvonnestreet said:

    September 17, 2010 @ 8:06 pm

    You are not alone. I am having a terrible menopause all the symptoms above and more I am having myself. I am so pleased to hear I am not alone. This time has been so frightening and lonely I cannot tell you.


  2. chas said:

    November 19, 2010 @ 10:12 pm

    im a loving husband……..i love my partner so much but…….at the moment i have a wife who is emotionally acute….mood swings, depression, venomous attacks on me verbally, libido negativity, irrational self denial etc etc……….i want to help, how on earth do i approach the problem without getting my head chewed off and being verbally attacked./ does my wife know what she’s saying or doing…………… i stand any chance of negotiating this situation or helping or do i just stick it out and take the pain and abuse.

  3. Marion said:

    February 1, 2011 @ 10:51 am

    i’ve been having symptoms for five years now, but the worst is the awkwardness and even panic in social situations. i don’t want to leave the house and the thought of going to a bar for a drink terrifies me. i’m very lucky to have a kind and gentle partner, but i feel even he is running out of patience. sometimes i just feel like i’m losing my mind.

  4. Sheree said:

    April 12, 2011 @ 5:39 pm

    I am so glad I am not alone. I have lost all my self esteem and confidence, I am withdrawn when I used to be outgoing and fun. Never get a good nights sleep and my libido is not existent when it used to be quite the short, I just don’t feel like me anymore. I have no energy to excercise (the thing that people say is the best thing for the symptoms). No one warned me that the menopause would change me so dramatically, it is a total shock. I cry at the least little thing and my memory is short to pieces and I feel exhausted all the time. Apart from that I’m fine!! As Yvonne said it’s very frightening. Just so comforting to know it’s not just me that feels like I am going mad.

  5. Leigh said:

    May 3, 2011 @ 12:12 pm

    Sheree just described me! My body just doesnt feel the same anymore, nothing is as it used to be. It is like I hit a wall and everything changed and I am becoming an alien with no sex drive, hot flushes, cold sweats, anxiety, panic attacks, insomnia, hair loss, no sense of balance, crawling skin, all sorts of aches and pains and feelings of desolation.
    If this is all to be expected. why did no one ever tell me before. I thought you just got a bit sweaty and moody, had irregular periods and were generally fed up because you were getting old.only!! I had no idea the that it would be like turning in to the walking dead and at the same time grieving for myself.

  6. Karen said:

    May 17, 2011 @ 7:20 pm

    This Big M isn’t funny is it? I’m 50 this year and haven’t had a period since last August… which was more like a haemorrhage… in a public place. Dreadful.

    The night sweats tend just to be centred on my head… which makes me feel as if I’m trapped in a sauna and can’t get out. Then the joint and muscle aches make me feel 100 not nearly 50! I’m not used to being unable to just getting on and doing stuff. Luckily, I now work from home as a business writer because going into a workplace every day and travelling to London and overseas (occasionally) just proved too much. I could sleep for a year I reckon!

    My husband finds it difficult to cope with although what man would really understand? Our boy is autistic, nearly 12 and on the brink of puberty and our girl 9. What a combination… menopause and puberty… serves me right for being a late starter mother at 38 and 40, huh?!

    To all my female counterparts out there… may God bless you and steer you through these difficult times when we barely know ourselves.


  7. Nicola Jones said:

    May 22, 2011 @ 2:42 pm

    I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one suffering from extreme symptoms. I have quite a hard job and have to deal with the general public. I feel so ill some days it’s really hard to talk to people.
    I have very low energy levels, my blood pressure drops, I sweat profusely but feel cold and shake. Mentally I just don’t feel with it. It is very embarrassing when it happens at work because sometimes I feel like I’m going to pass out and start having a panic attack.
    I definitely want to come back as a man next time!

  8. Jenny said:

    May 27, 2011 @ 10:31 pm

    Just had a really bad few days. So glad to have found this site and hear others describe what’s happening to me. Flushes and sweats I can cope with but irrational rages, depression, crawling skin and anxiety – it really isn’t me. But now at least I know I’m not going mad. But how do you start to explain it to someone special who is getting hurt and bearing thr brunt?
    Hopefully this latest phase will pass soon if not I’ll try any cure on the market!

  9. Ruth Bailey said:

    June 29, 2011 @ 8:42 pm

    Hi I feel the same. Just had the Doctor as the floor seems a nice place at the moment. As one minute I am alright next time laying in a hot sweat, and very tearful and confussed. I have even been in an ambulance whilst passing out. So please does anybody else pass out during this trying time of our life. I am 51 with much stress at the moment.

  10. Helen Clare said:

    July 5, 2011 @ 5:08 pm

    Really thought it was just me! Nobody really tells you this stuff and the literature from my GP left a load of blanks … I had bargained for the sweats and insomnia but not for intolerance, frighteningly short fuse, poor memory, attention span of a gnat, light-headedness, debilitating headaches, occasional extra heart beat – I thought I was having cardiac problems – and generally unpredictable mood.
    Am currently ploughing my way through the stuff my GP has given me to read. Hopefully now I know it’s not just me going bonkers, I can look out for flash points and try and temper my behaviour/reactions.

  11. julie said:

    August 10, 2011 @ 9:18 am

    nobody could have prepared me for this. feel like i have lost myself. lot of stress at moment which sure does not help. too exhausted to exercise, not good.

  12. karen said:

    August 21, 2011 @ 12:29 pm

    just been told have started menopause, i dont know who i am any more, cant sleep, so tired, tearful and struggle to out socially and have such bad skin.

  13. Tracey fisher said:

    August 24, 2011 @ 8:52 am

    Really not sure what is going on with me at the moment,
    I am 45 and have a son of 5 years old, of which I don’t
    Seem to have the patience to cope with, I feel so stressed
    All the time, just want to snap at everyone all the time,
    Don’t want sex but love my husband very much but he feels
    I don’t, started to have hot flushes, some days I ache, and feel
    Happier when I am on my own, don’t like feeling like this but
    Can’t snap out of it, haven’t been to the doctors yet so not sure
    If I have started the menopause, If I try to talk about it all I get is
    Don’t be daft you are to young and laugh, so feel like I am on my own.

  14. Helen said:

    August 25, 2011 @ 1:15 am

    I am 54 years old and have at least 8 to 20 hot flushes per night and approx 10 during the day. When I go to bed and the flushes start I find myself downstairs trying to control my immotions. The feeling of no self esteem, shaking, crying, argumentative and not knowing what to do. I have tried a number of herbal products and also Clonidine tablets prescribed by my doctor but nothing seems to help. The doctor advises me that HRT is not really an option because at my age and that I could stop the sweats etc at any time. That really does not help when, all I would like to do is to sleep at least 2 -3 nights per week without having to get up and face the nightmare of the sweats and all the other things that it brings with it.

  15. trish said:

    August 29, 2011 @ 12:22 am

    I have been unwell since the symptoms started. I feel brainless, lost and isolated at times. I suffer from self loathing out of the blue and cannot stand to even look at myself in the mirror or see my own reflection in shop windows. I wanted to be one of the people who just sailed through it, but it has been a nightmare and it dominates my life. I feel that holding down a job would be too much, i cannot visit friends or family when it is hitting me hard, i never enjoy anything and i snap so easily. I thought the tablets would help far more than this, but my stress levels seem to make things worse. I cannot afford the natural route for the symptoms yet, that makes it worse for me.

  16. jackie said:

    August 31, 2011 @ 7:00 pm


  17. angie said:

    September 2, 2011 @ 11:41 pm

    i feel so embaressed, even to the point at the minute i cannot really share my feelings, like i hope it might go away, that i can shake this misery off, i have felt like this for 3 months so time will tell

  18. Seonaid said:

    September 3, 2011 @ 8:03 am

    I don’t actually know if I’m suffering menopause, just turned 45, had very irratic periods and symptoms for last 2 years, maybe longer. When I approached my female GP was told no one ever died from menopause so no point in testing. Well, I would beg to differ. After too much alcohol on the run up ( unknown) to very sporadic bleed, I physically attacked my partner. He retaliated. Cant blame him. I think we are both lucky that the injuries sustained were not worse. I feel, scared, humiliated, alone and very very guilty. Why are women not given more help? Apart from no alcohol, what should I be doing?

  19. Carole said:

    September 25, 2011 @ 8:30 pm

    Just logged onto the site to see what is going on with myself. I thought I was going mad but maybe it is just the menpause kicking in at 45, I thought you had symptoms when you turned 50 ish. Sex life rubbish, husband thinks he helps by telling me to have a better work life balance but sometimes sitting in front of a computer is preferable to trying to explian how I feel. Rubbish!

  20. Joan said:

    September 26, 2011 @ 12:46 pm

    Well so please that Im not the only one that feels I going mad. It was my 54th Birthday yesterday and oh what a terrible day. Blaimed my other half for not doing this and that for me until in the end he has told me to sort myself out. And thats what im going to do. There must be something that I can do. Like others I have tried HRT but came off thinking I would do this by myself but its the negative thoughts , mood swings and loss of sex drive that I hate most.
    Gosh what a life!

  21. AV said:

    October 6, 2011 @ 8:57 am

    I am almost 49 (boohoo) and have had flushes on and off for a few yrs. Periods irregular now, these fast few weeks I have been feeling very stressed and had a couple of times, what felt like the beginning of an anxiety attack, fight or flight was kicking in, I had to go out side to calm down else I think I may have killed someone. I have started feeling like a sprint which is getting tighter and tighter somethings going to snap, My husband is not much use he says get over it etc. hes lucky he didnt his head chewed off the other day. Reading others posts does make me feel a bit better than I am not going mad. It will I know but its not nice having to go through it for me or my Husband and 9 yr old son poor chap doesn’t understand why mummy is getting angry or crying at nothing, he thinks its his fault, I have tried to explain it to him though.

  22. Julie Franklin said:

    January 17, 2012 @ 2:49 pm

    I am sat here crying writing this post. I should be at work but with a really bad back, neck and head pain and just being a wreck, I couldnt face it! Like all the other posts, I do not recognise myself, all I want to do is curl up on the sofa and do nothing. I have a wonderful husband, a lovely family and enjoy going to work so what on earth is going on! I feel miserable, and oh so irritable which is unlike me. I already take paroxetine for panic attacks and amyiltriptaline for fibra myelga (please forgive the spellings), I am on warfarin so cant take HRT. Feel really scared that this is it now for a couple of years, I have made an appointment to see the doctor tonight but dont hold out much hope that he will be able to help. I am 51 and usually happy, I don’t like this new me!

  23. Chrissie said:

    January 29, 2012 @ 9:43 pm

    I am 47 and have been feeling depressed/stressed/anxious for about 9 months. I feel very impatient and restless all the time. I have suffered from depression before and initially thought it was another ’bout’ – but I keep describing it to my husband as ‘different’ than before. I feel (and have told him several times) that I feel like I am going mad. Reading the posts on here is spooky as they are so accurate to my own situation. My mum and two older sisters went through a younger than average menopause so….. My husband is very patient and loving so I am lucky but the future feels very bleak at the moment.

  24. samantha coker said:

    February 4, 2012 @ 12:59 pm

    Well, where to start? i thought child birth/periods preety awful but compared to the menopause it now seems a walk in the park.
    nothing prepared me for this time in my life, it’s truly awful. Like all the other posts, i suffer from all the normal things, mood swings, night infernos and scrathing at my skin as it tingles so much. i think the absolute worse symtom is the lack of sleep, after months and months of not sleeping I now feel like a zombie, completelywashed out, brain a mush, going deaf just all bad really.Husband tries to help but says all the wrong things I could just scream at him and the rest of my family. Oh well run to the hills!

  25. Margaret said:

    September 2, 2013 @ 10:31 am

    I came across this site whilst looking for help with feeling stressed out. I’m 55 and am suffering many of the symptoms described on here. The things I am having difficulty with at the moment are my forgetfulness( put things in ‘a safe place’ then forget where that is) then get stressed to the point of crying when I feel out of my depth with things I used to be able to handle. The comments on here are very helpful and I will try to implement some of the suggestions. I too feel like a different person and at times like i’m just going crazy but I realise i’m not on my own . It’s so comforting to know that we will all come through this eventually, but still hard going through it.

  26. corrinne said:

    June 9, 2014 @ 6:17 pm

    Thank goodness i found this site, really feel for you all. I am 53 and having strange muscle spasms, major depression, anger, confusion, heart strange feelings. Just want to sit alone, i find writing in my personal journal helps on a daily basis, as it gives time and space to me. Sleep is so bad and have terrible dreams when i do sleep. The most awful symptom is the anger i feel fly off the handle over trivial things. Is anyone else reliving events in their lives, going out is especially hard all i want is to be alone.
    Well i hope every one gets through this soon as it is so damn hard best wishes……..

  27. Alyson said:

    June 14, 2014 @ 12:52 am

    Hi everyone , I am 55 and started the menopause at 43 . I am feeling worse now than I did at the start . Tearful , short tempered , bad driving , rivers of sweat sometimes for hours , disinterest in everything , feelings of morbidity, extremely sad , negative , generally feel unwell , aching everywhere , panic , fear of going out alone !! I never dreamed of anything like this , I am not me and I dislike this person that I am now . HELP !!!!

  28. Sallypowell said:

    May 6, 2015 @ 8:05 pm

    Need to join a club or start one!! Anyone interested?
    Criteria need a change from the change !! Xx

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